While I was pregnant, I found out that my son’s father Shawn cheated on me, and as a result of the cheating I caught chlamydia. Although he never admitted or apologized for stepping out on me while I was carrying his child, I was able to forgive Shawn. I forgave him, but I never forgot, or fully trusted him again. If he could cheat on me while I was pregnant, I knew he was capable of anything.
However, after the birth of our son Shawn was so perfect. He was the best father to not only our son together but to my daughters from a previous relationship. He was also an excellent provider. He went to school to get his CDL and began really supporting our family. He started making decent money, and I never had to pay a bill. The only issue Shawn and I had was the lack of trust.
Shawn started falling asleep at his friend’s house more and more often. The excuse he used for not coming home was that he was tired from working every day to take care of the family. Shawn used that excuse to make me feel bad for being a stay at home mom. I told Shawn that he could work less, and I would find a job. He advised me that he did not want his son to go to daycare, and he did not want me to work. I didn’t work I just stayed home and supported the family like Shawn wanted.
One night I went to a girl’s night event to get out of the house. I came home around 10pm and I noticed that Shawn was not home. I also noticed that the shower was just used, and I knew something was wrong. I texted Shawn and asked him where he was, but he didn’t respond. I called him several times and his phone went straight to voicemail.
Around 6:15 am Shawn came home with a Denny’s bag. I was sitting on the couch when he walked in and I saw the Denny’s bag and became enraged. I grabbed the bag from his hand and threw it against the wall and pancakes and syrup went flying everywhere.
Shawn stated that I was crazy and overacting. He told me that he fell asleep over his friend’s house and woke up hungry. He said nothing else was open and Denny’s is 24 hours, so he stopped in for something to eat. Shawn gave me a dumb excuse because he looked at me as a dumb woman. He felt like he could lie to my face, and I would have to accept his lies because he took care of me finically.
Once again I forgave Shawn. I had no other choice other than to forgive Shawn. He was taking care of me and my kids, and I didn’t have a job. I couldn’t leave Shawn, but I could get even with Shawn.
I logged into my old Facebook account to see if I still had it. I tried to be faithful to Shawn, and he betrayed me not only once, but twice. My days of being faithful to a man that wasn’t faithful to me were over, and I was ready to be back in the field. I knew I had to be careful because Shawn buttered my bread, but I was not going to sit around a let a man take advantage of me or lie to me face.
It didn’t take long for my old friends to start reaching out to me. The only person that really caught my attention was my old friend Matt a professional athlete on a professional football team. After a few weeks of talking and reconnecting Matt invited me to his hotel room. Shawn was on the road, and I knew I wouldn’t get caught. I had sex with Matt, and it was the best sex of my life. Shawn didn’t have the stamina that Matt had. Shawn didn’t make my body shake the way Matt did. Shawn didn’t suck the soul out of my body the way Matt did.
In the beginning I was sleeping with Matt out of revenge, but it quickly turned to pleasure. I slept with Matt several times until he was traded to a different team. Matt begged me to come with him, but he told me I had to leave Shawn. I couldn’t leave Shawn and my family behind. Letting go of Matt and his incredible love making was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I did it for my family.
Six months after the Denny’s incident I was laying in bed watching Shawn sleep. He slept with the phone under his pillow and I decided to go through his phone. There was nothing that stood out to me in his call log or his text messages. However, when I checked his emails, I saw that he was emailing back and forth with a random woman.
One of the emails Shawn sent to this woman stated “I’m just so tired of being here with her and her lazy ass. I want to be with you. She doesn’t cook, she doesn’t clean and I’m tired of taking care of her and her kids. She’s using my son as a pawn to keep me there, and I don’t want to be there in that dirty ass house anymore. I want to be with you. I love you”.
Reading that email I couldn’t hold my tears back. I was so hurt, and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The man I loved was telling another woman how much he hated me and loved her. I couldn’t believe that he felt as though my children and I were a burden on him. I wanted to wake him up by stabbing him in his chest, but I had to keep reading.
I came across another email from the woman stating that she wanted him to come over and bend her over again. She stated that the sex with Shawn was the best sex of her life. She talked about how her husband never respected her the way that Shawn did. I was shocked and I couldn’t read anymore.
I took the girls email address and put it into Facebook to search to get more information about the woman Shawn was cheating on me with. I found out that the woman had 5 kids and was married for 15 years. She was still married, and she posted several family photos. I also found out that I previously worked with the woman he was cheating with, and Shawn knew that I knew her. Shawn was the scum of the earth to me. I hated him. I lost my best friend because of Shawn and now he was disrespecting not only me but my children as well. I went to the kitchen to get a knife. I made up in my mind that I was going to kill Shawn in his sleep. The betrayal was too much for me to live with…..Stay tuned for Part 3 to find out what happens next.