I was a single mother of two girls when I reconnected with my old friend Shawn. I knew Shawn because he and my best friend Tiffany dated while we were teenagers. Shawn and Tiffany dated for 5 years before they broke up. Tiffany suffered through three miscarriages during her relationship with Shawn, and the pain of losing their babies caused a tremendous strain on their relationship. I hated seeing Tiffany hurting, and I knew how much she loved Shawn and wanted to have his baby. After Tiffany and Shawn broke up, we all lost touch. Tiffany wasn’t the same person she used to be, and I understood that.
Shawn and I ran into each other at the store and exchanged numbers. We went from sending casual text messages to talking on the phone every night for hours. I loved talking to him and reminiscing about the good old days. The only problem was I was still in a relationship with my daughter’s father. It was an unhappy relationship, but a relationship none the less. I worked overnight as a secretary so that made it easy for me to spend time with Shawn without anyone suspecting anything. I started calling out of work more often and spending the night with Shawn at his sister’s house.
After about six months of sneaking around Shawn decided he didn’t want to sneak around anymore. However, being together would not be as easy as we both hoped it would be. I was in a relationship with my daughter’s father and Shawn was also in a relationship with some unknown female. Shawn also did not have a job, a car, or a place of his own. I couldn’t just uproot my children and move them into his sister’s basement.
I started letting Shawn borrow my car during the day to go on job interviews. It didn’t take long for him to get a job at a warehouse, and a second job at a local restaurant. It also didn’t take long for my daughter’s father to catch me cheating.
Shawn and I became lazy and no longer felt like sneaking around and keeping our relationship secret. Shawn was working so much, and we no longer could sneak to his sister’s house. During the day Shawn started coming over my house while my daughter’s father was at work. One day my oldest daughter accidently shared with her father that Shawn was over the house earlier, and all hell broke loose literally.
Angry because of my infidelity my daughter’s father just snapped and before I knew it he grabbed me by my neck and started choking me. I couldn’t fight because I was dead wrong. I didn’t know what to say. I started feeling the life leave my body, and finally my daughter’s father let me go. Tears rolled down his eyes, and he grabbed the biggest knife in the kitchen and held it to my throat. The look in his eyes was nothing but pure hatred. He loved me and I betrayed him.
“Please Sean please do this the kids are in the next room” I said begging and pleading with my daughter’s father to let me live. Yes, they both have the same name, but different spelling please don’t judge me.
“Daddy please don’t hurt mommy” I heard my youngest daughter yell out. Sean dropped the knife and left the house never looking back.
I packed the girl’s clothes and called Shawn to come and get us. Shawn picked me up and we all moved into his sister’s basement. That day Shawn advised me that he ended his other miscellaneous relationship and we made our relationship official. We agreed to leave our shady past in the past and start over fresh and unblemished. The only thing we did not do was tell Tiffany my old best friend about our relationship. Tiffany and I didn’t have the same relationship we did when we were younger, but we still had a friendship. I still cared for her very much, and I knew we had to tell her about our relationship, but that wasn’t something I was ready to do.
After living in the basement for about a year Shawn saved up enough money for us to move into our first house together. Shawn rented a three-bedroom house for our family, and we were so in love. All the cheating was behind us and we were finally happy. Three months after moving into our home I found I was pregnant with our son.
Now that I was pregnant, I could no longer hide the fact that I broke girl code from Tiffany. I had to tell her that I was pregnant with her ex boyfriend’s baby. I was pregnant with the baby she would have died to have years ago. Tiffany said she wanted nothing to do with Shawn or me anymore. She hated us and felt so betrayed. I felt horrible I hated hurting my friend. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but the heart wants what the heart wants. My heart wanted Shawn.
Three months into my pregnancy I went into the doctors for a routine checkup and found out I had chlamydia. I was shocked to find out that I had a STD because Shawn, and I were supposed to be faithful to each other. I know how the relationship started, but that was our past, or so I thought. I confronted Shawn with my recent diagnosis, and he denied cheating on me.
“I don’t know if you sat on a toilet, or if the test is wrong, but I have not cheated on you. I know that you are not cheating on me, and I would never cheat on you. I love you, and we have been through too much Sabrina” Shawn said.
Shawn said that he went and got tested, and he did not have chlamydia. In my mind I knew that he was a lying cheater, but I couldn’t convince my heart of that because I loved Shawn and we had been through so much together. Not to mention the fact that I was now 4 months pregnant with his son his first born. I couldn’t leave Shawn even if I wanted too. I was pregnant, jobless, and who was going to hire me fat and pregnant. Shawn was taking care of not only me, but my two girls as well working to jobs. I hated to admit it, but I needed Shawn. So, I forgave him for the time being.
Some say how you get him is how you loose him, and I was going to find that out the hard way….Stay tuned for Part 2.
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