“It always seems impossible until it done” – Nelson Mandela
Tuesday April 6 2019 my son nonchalantly says “Oh mom I forgot to tell you Kia knows where you we live.” Kia is my son’s father’s 40-year-old girlfriend. Kia and my son’s father Jhavier have been dating off and on since about 2016. She was in the car the day Jhavier punched me in the face and attempted to hit my son and I with a car. She knowingly admits that Jhavier has anger problems, and issues respecting women, but she stays with him. Kia works for the Severna Park post office in Maryland,
“What do you mean Kia knows where I live?” I asked.
“My daddy and Kia drove me here and told me to show them where I lived” my son said again nonchalantly.
“Josh you know what I’ve been through with your father. Why would you show him where I lived” I said clearly upset with my son?
“Why would you do that, and why are you just telling me this” I asked again frustrated.
“I’m sorry mom” my son said tears forming in his little four-year-old eyes.
I stopped yelling and realized that my son was only 4 years old. The smartest four-year-old child probably wouldn’t have realized that they were being manipulated in that situation. It’s unbelievable to think that two adults would put a child in that situation. I felt bad for yelling and getting upset with my son. I felt horrible and couldn’t imagine who would use their child like that.
“Why is this my life” I thought to myself.
I dropped my son off at daycare after apologizing to him. I wasn’t upset with my son. I received a call from my son’s daycare provider later in that day advising me that my son told her the same thing he told me earlier. She advised me that my son told her that his father and his father’s girlfriend drove him around and had our son show them where I lived. She advised me that I shouldn’t get upset with my son because he didn’t know and was pressured by his father. She advised me that if I get upset every time my son tells me something, he won’t tell me anything.
When I got to work that day, I called the House of Ruth Domestic Violence legal clinic and asked them to help me. I was advised by the House of Ruth that they didn’t think I had enough evidence to get a restraining order. However, the House of Ruth advised me to contact Jhavier’s probation officer and let the probation officer know about the situation. I was advised by the House of Ruth to tell Jhavier’s probation officer that Jhaiver has previously called me 22 times and claimed to be suicidal. I was also advised to let Jhaiver’s probation officer know that Jhavier has previously advised me that he has a gun and would shoot me before he went back to jail.
April 19 2019 I called Jhaiver’s probation officer and I forwarded all my evidence. She advised me that she would forward the evidence of phone calls, and threats to the judge handling Jhavier’s probation and follow up with me. As of today 4/24/19 I have not heard back from Jhaver’s probation officer, I follow up with her daily.
I also have written the state’s attorney office and let them know what is going on with my case. I let the state’s attorney’s office know that I have been dealing with this issue for almost 5 years. I told the states attorney that I am in fear of my life. Jhavier has proven to be a loose cannon and now that he knows where I reside, I am scared. I also wrote to Maryland’s Governor Larry Hogan’s office and asked for help.
I reached out to the Severna Park’s post office and advised them that Kia has previously rode pass my parent’s house in her post office van. I advised the post office that Kia has stopped my parents at a gas station while in the post office van and proceeded to try and discuss this case with my parent’s. I told the post office that Kia is using her job at the post office to harass my family on Jhaver’s behalf.
I spoke with Karen (a supervisor) at the post office who advised Kia is on a rural route and should not be around my parent’s house. Karen advised me that the “post master” advised Kia not to go around my parent’s house, and not to speak to my parent’s if she sees them in public while at work. As you can imagine I was very unhappy with the post office’s response to this matter. I can’t understand why a federal worker didn’t already know not to harass citizens while on duty. I have filed a complaint against the Severna Park post office. How can I or anyone feel safe with postal workers that harass citizens while on duty? My parent’s also have a post office box and don’t even get mail delivered to their home. Kia looked my parent’s address up while on the job. I’m so confused as to why a federal employee needs to be told not to share citizens information. I can’t imagine the post office doesn’t have rules and regulations about stuff like this.
Since starting this blog almost three months ago I have detailed my experience with domestic violence and my struggle to receive justice. I keep getting comments from my readers that say, “I hope all is well now”, or “I hope you and your son are fine now”. Reading those comments sometimes I get sad because I’m still fighting for justice and not much has changed. I want to do a post and share that my fight for justice and stronger domestic violence laws in Maryland has not been in vain. I want to post that I have been victorious, and I’m finally at peace. However today is not the day, and this is not the post. However, keep reading because I am hopeful that I will prevail in my fight.