Love doesn’t hurt you. A person that doesn’t know how to love you hurts you. – Tony Gaskins Jr.
Two weeks passed since I found out Jhavier the father of my unborn child and my boyfriend was soliciting sex online. We still lived together, and I tried to move passed our first disastrous incident with domestic violence.
It was Memorial Day weekend and my sister invited me to her house for a cookout, and I jumped at the offer. I needed to get away from Jhavier even if it was just one day. Although he was apologetic and promised to get anger management and go to therapy I still didn’t feel 100 percent safe around him anymore.
I went to the party, and I came home. I could see that Jhavier was upset about something, but I didn’t care. I went into the bedroom and went straight to sleep. The next morning Jhavier woke me up bright and earlier, and I just knew that we weren’t going to have a good day.
“Get up we need to clean this apartment” he said.
“The apartment isn’t dirty just wash the dished I’m tired” I said
“You wouldn’t be tired if you didn’t stay out all night partying” he said with an evil smirk.
I decided I was not going to argue with him. I was pregnant and sleepy. The only way I was getting out of the bed is if the whole apartment caught on fire. I just turned over and attempted to go back to sleep. That was until I heard my dog Mobley screaming and barking. I could tell something was very wrong. I jumped out of bed, and went into the living room.
Jhavier was beating Mobley with a broom. Mobley was a small dog and he couldn’t have weighed more than 15 pounds so those blows to his back really hurt him, and they hurt me because I loved that dog so much. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for Jhavier to stop. He was so angry and his soul left his body, because the Jhavier I knew was gone. Jhavier didn’t even look the same he looked demonic as if he was possessed by and evil spirit. I thought he was going to kill my dog. Mobley starting to defecate everywhere as he attempted to run from Jhavier. Mobley jumped on the couch and Jhavier dropped the broom and started punching him in his little body. I grabbed Mobley trying to save him from the vicious blows, and Jhavier ended up punching me twice on accident because he missed Mobley. I had enough. My dog was crying, hurt and embarrassed because he pooped all over himself. I was hurt. Honestly I knew that Jhaiver was jealous of all the love and attention I gave Mobley, but I never thought in a million years he would beat my dog. I loved that dog with all my heart.
I ran with Mobley into the bathroom locked the door and called 911. I told the 911 operator that my boyfriend was hitting me and my dog and to send someone as soon as possible. I still had my dog’s feces on me as I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror with disbelief. I was too hurt to even think straight or to really digest what just happened to me.
15 minutes later my cousin, who was also my neighbor called to tell me that there were Baltimore City Police officers outside of the apartment. I left the apartment to meet the police officers outside. I explained to the police that the Jhavier and I got into an argument, he beat my dog, and accidentally punched me trying to hurt the dog. One of the officers explained to me that because Jhavier lived with me for longer than 30 days Maryland law stated that I just couldn’t put him out even if he wasn’t listed on the lease. The office informed me that because Jhavier punched me on accident he wouldn’t be charged with assault. I literally was heartbroken because there was nothing that I could do at this point. The law seemed to be on Jhavier’s side.
The officer went into the apartment to talk to Jhavier. In true Jhaiver fashion he tried to not take any responsibility for the incident blaming everything on Mobley. He stated Mobley urinated on his clothes, and that was the reason for the beating. I yelled “He is lying that is not true”.
“Don’t talk to each other” the cop said.
“You see how she is officer” Jhavier said to the cop. However the cop seemed angry with Jhavier.
“Don’t talk to me. I know your type and I know what you’re about. I could charge you with animal cruelty and give you a 500 dollar fine now. You’re lucky I didn’t charge you with assault for hitting her” the cop said.
“She said I hit her” Jhavier said with disbelief.
“You did hit me on accident while you were trying to hit the dog” I said back.
“But you know I didn’t mean to punch you” Jhavier said.
“Stop talking to each other. Maybe one of you should leave this apartment because if I have to come back out here one of you will be arrested” the cop said.
“Ok sir” Jhavier said trying to be smart.
“What are you going to do?” asked the cop.
“I’ll leave and go to my cousin’s apartment. I’m done with this situation and done with him” I said.
“What about you?” the cop asked Jhavier.
The weirdest thing was as I was saying that I was done Jhavier looked hurt. He almost looked like he couldn’t believe I was saying it out loud to another person.
“She can leave I’m done with her too” Jhavier said making an evil face.
“Ok well leave it at that. And like I said if I have to come back out here today someone will be arrested” the cop said, and he and I started leaving the apartment.
The officer stopped me on the steps of the apartment.
“You can go down to Charles Streetand start the eviction process to get him out. You said you were pregnant I would think twice before I made any decisions with him. He showed you that this is who he is, and you have to ask yourself if you’re ready to deal with that the rest of your life” the officer said to me before leaving without even giving Jhavier a slap on the wrist.
The officer did make me think a lot about my situation. He didn’t outright say that I should get an abortion, but he definitely hinted at it. He probably was right the smart thing to do would be to get an abortion, but at the time I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I didn’t know if I could live with myself after getting an abortion. I had so much to think about I didn’t know what to do.
I hung out at my cousin’s apartment for a bit and talked to her. She is like an older sister to me so talking to her helped me clear my mind. After a couple hours at her apartment I decided to go home. When I got back to my apartment Jhavier was on the phone with his sister. Thing were weird between us, but we didn’t talk. We both knew that things would never be the same, because I called the police on him. This would be the beginning to a very painful breakup between Jhavier and myself.
Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-7233
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Great post. Such an emotional story but you’re writing is great and gave such good imagery.
I hope you are healing from this experience
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I really like the emotions, which you include in your story! Well done!
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oh wow girl! What an emotional time for you and a wild story! I hope time turns around and makes you happy again soon!
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I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It is never okay. I felt horrible hearing what he did to your poor doggy. I hope you are doing well now.
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The story is so touching I hope u get over it as quick as the speed of light.
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I am sorry for everything you went through.I hope you find love again.
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I hope you found your new footings toward your new and much better life without him soon. I am so sorry about what happened to you and your dog, and I admire your courage to called 911 in that situation.
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This sounds so sad. Hope things get better for you soon.
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OMG I can not believe what happened to your dog, but I’m glad you talked about it to be an inspiration for others!
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Thank you! It was really hard for me writing this.
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What a cliffhanger! I’m dying to know what you did next and how your story turned out.
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The story is really great. Nice writing skills.
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Hello.. this is a true story of my past. I just decided to share to bring awareness to domestic violence.
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Why do guys have to act this way? I hope that things get better for you.
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great writing here. i love the emotions and honesty that come out in the story.
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what an emotional piece and so brave of you for opening up. stay strong and hope things get better for you!
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You have such deep thoughts and emotions. Great writing.Really tough subject.
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After reading this I hope you decided to leave that fool! You don’t deserved that type of treatment while you were preggy! You see how he treated your dog?! What happens if that treatment went towards your child. UUUGGH! Not worth it tootz! I hope you found happiness with yourself because of this awful situation.*HUGZ*
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Aw thank you! I did leave and I’m much happier now! I just want to share my story, and hopefully help someone in a similar situation. 💚
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Thank goodness! Glad to hear😊
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This is a very touching post. Thank you for your strength and honesty.
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I know the feeling of being into a stressful and abusive relationship. I’m just thankful for all the person who didn’t give up on me and helped me to get out of that bad relationship.
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I’m also glad that you got out of that situation! It’s much harder than some people think it is! It takes a lot of strength and courage! 💚
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I’m sorry about what happened, I hope you’re feeling okay now!
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I’m glad you left, it’s worse when the person you decided to be with turns out to be different, there is no helping him sadly, once a brute always a brute, and he doesn’t care who is on the other end of his rage as long as he can show dominance, hope you are fairing much better now, he didn’t deserve you.
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Thank you 💚
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I believe that writing your story will help you to assess your current situation as well as your future prospects with clarity so that you can make good choices going forward.
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You are a really brave person and finally, you are out of this situation. Thanks for sharing your story, stay strong.
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It hurts. The situation saddened me but I am not in the right place to give you advice. I’ll pray for you I hope things will get better.I really hope you are okay and your baby.
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Thank you. We are doing much better. I found the strength to leave and never look back.
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What a wonderful story. I can feel the raw emotions from the character in each section,
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What a great article that was written by you. I love everything about this article. It makes me feel so emotional.
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It’s really hurtful what happened to your dog.. I hope you feel better and loads of strength to you 👍🏼
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I was literally shocked when I read the first line of your blog! I am speechless. You are a strong woman!
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I hope you have found some healing. It’s not okay. No one deserves to go through this.
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This is such a great post & such an emotional story! I hope you things will get better for you!
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I know it was hard being so vulnerable. I was so mad when he was that innocent and defenseless dog. Then I got outraged at him hitting you even if it was by mistake. He should have gone to jail for animal cruelty if nothing else. And I’m tired of the law not protecting women. So what if he was there more than 30 days? He clearly showed that he was violent and abusive. What if he would have killed you or the dog just because he was protected by the “30 days law?”
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It was really hard writing this actually. I think I subconsciously put it to the back of my mind until now. However I agree with you 100% I hate the law protects the criminal when it comes to domestic violence. I’m hoping by sharing my story I can help make a change! Thank you for reading 💚
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I’m here literally heartbroken. I can’t deal with domestic violence or animal abuse. This is so sad and totally brutal. I really hope that you heal and move on to better things. All the best always.
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Thank you 💚
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Many women in this situation never leave the man. I really hope that you do, for good. Abusive people have a way with manipulation and turning things around to make it all seem like it was your fault and tell you again and again how sorry they are. Don’t fall for it. I hope you were able to stay away and find someone better.
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Thank you! I left and never looked back. It was the right choice for me, but I know it’s hard for many women to leave abusive situations
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It is the person who didn’t know how to love that hurt you…You’ll get through it all…keep on being strong.
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This is awful. I’m so sad to hear about what happened to your dog. OMG he didn’t deserve that, and neither did you. I hope you are out of that situation. Thank you for speaking out for animal rights, and women’s right!
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There are many perceptions of what love “looks” like. The 5 Love Languages provides great examples of “true” love. Sure there will be times, where we get hurt in the midst of relationships. But Love shouldn’t hurt “intentionally.” Definitely, a tough situation you were in. Thanks for your transparency.
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I agree there are times when we will get hurt in relationships but love shouldn’t intentionally hurt! Thank you! 💚
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Ugh your story is just so sad, but I think at the same time through writing you can also grow strong. I’m sorry you had to go through this friend.
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So sorry for your experience I could feel the emotion in your writing. Wishing you all the best.
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Thank you! 💚
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I’m sorry to hear this. Your story is very inspiring in a way. Thanks for sharing this. great post. Love it!
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what a way of expressing your feelings, this will be an inspiration to many people experiencing the same, worth sahring 🙂
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Thank you! 💚
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